How to Set Sticky Boundaries
…or the practical tips you need for your words to be respected.
A client of mine once said, “we need to train people” on how we want to be treated. In our conversation, I had said “teach people,” but she felt how people treat you is not a negotiation. I’m still thinking on the idea of “train” vs “teach”. But I do believe that you need to train people on sticky boundaries.
If you’re reading this, you may already struggle with boundaries. You’re not alone. I work with survivors of inter-personal trauma like sexual abuse. They often struggle with boundaries. It’s hard to find and set sticky boundaries after your boundaries were crossed, whether as a child or an adult. It’s also hard to find and set sticky boundaries if you were never taught. And survivor or not, growing up most of us were not taught about boundaries other than perhaps the myth of stranger danger. We also might not have had boundaries rolemodeled for us in our family…or by anyone.
But I’m a believer in never-too-late. Maybe you are too? I’ve seen so many adults learn the thing that were never taught as a child. How to negotiate. How to sniff out a predator. How to advocate for their kids, even though their own parents threw them to the wolves. No reason sticky boundaries can’t be learned too.
