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The 1 Thing You Can Do To Get People to Change
It’s easier than you think.
What’s the one thing you can do to get people to change? I’m talking about anyone, of any background, who actually wants to change. (Their desire to do so is the starting point, of course.) But after that, what can you do?
Lead with empathy.
If you really want someone to change, always lead your words (and subsequent actions) from a place of empathy.
You do this by being with someone in a compassionate, unhurried way with both of you communicating as equals. That’s active listening. If empathy is the car, active listening skills are the driver. Active listening is an engaged practice where you mindfully pay attention to someone with your whole body, listening for feelings and then reflecting back what you hear. There is never probing, judging or guilting. There is normalizing, (“many women feel that way,”) and a dialogue that both people feel part of; no one is an expert.
What do Michel Martin, Bill Clinton and Oprah have in common? They’re all exceptional active listeners. They never ask “yes/no” questions that can not only shut conversations down but also put the asker in a greater position of power, never a good thing. When Michel, Bill or Oprah are talking to you, you feel like the only one in the room. They get that it’s not…
