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The 1 Thing You Can Do To Get People To Change

Elizabeth M. Johnson, MA
2 min readJun 19, 2018

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Start with empathy.

If you want someone to change, stop the lectures, resources, even threats and start with empathy.

Photo credit: Jasmine Waheed via Unsplash

Empathy is feeling with someone. It’s accessing a place inside yourself where you have experienced something similar to what someone else has experienced and feeling that feeling again. You don’t need to have gone through the other person’s exact same experience to feel empathy. That’s never possible. “Something similar” can be a situation in which you felt some of their same emotions. Empathy is not about feeling sad about a situation or pitying someone, but feeling with them.

Physical space can play an influential role when we want someone to change. Barriers like desks or podiums set up physical divides and create emotional distance between people. Furniture can also reinforce power dynamics, signaling who is more important. Changing the set-up of the room in which you work can positively influence change. But what about if you are a home visiting nurse and the patient’s home is often your “office”? You could ask the patient where they are most comfortable talking, instead of assuming living room or kitchen table.

Once you start with empathy, it’s a lot easier to remember why you do what you do. Service. It’s not about being right or offering the perfect resource or…

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Elizabeth M. Johnson, MA
Elizabeth M. Johnson, MA

Written by Elizabeth M. Johnson, MA

I write about trauma, relationships and how we make decisions. Big reader, big eater. #SayNoMore. She/Her.

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