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The Mistakes of Our Fathers
February is Teen Dating Awareness Month so let’s talk about parents.
The heavy wooden door slammed behind me one July night in 1991 with my mother’s warning at my back, ”you’re going to wind up pregnant and never to go to college!”. As the oldest of four, my mother had long misdirected her dissatisfied anger at me. I knew early on that my parents got pregnant with me while in their late teens and married because of that. Of course, me at 18 heading out on a Friday night for drinking and movies at a friends was going to set her off. So while I knew better, her words still stung. Mothers always know how to get their children at their most tender. Mine was no exception.
Today, I talk a lot with people about what it was like in their household growing up. We talk about their relationships, or lack thereof, with their parents. About whether or not they felt safe and cared for. Some talk about a “toxic family” or “monster” parent. Many tell me about an assault in high school or an abusive relationship in college. And sometimes, much later they say out loud that they were molested or raped as a child.
These same people are sometimes parents themselves too. And they often ask what they can do about keeping their own kids safe. Gen X parents like me may have run wild as teens but there was no sexting or even online pornography. Teen dating violence…
